Today marks 6 months of a life I am living I don’t know.
Amazing how the shock and experience of it all is always so clear.
So many people besides myself affected by this tragic loss.
Everyone deals with things differently. Some pretend it never happened. Others look the other way. Others can’t push past it. Others are angry. The list goes on.
I have heard so many people say, ” I just don’t know what to say or do”. So they do nothing. They say nothing and offer nothing in return. They ask ” how are you doing?”, no really ” how are you doing?”
I learned that no one “really” wants the answer. How am I doing? I am doing!! I have no choice but to do. I have a little boy who lost his father so loosing his mother isn’t an option. As a mother I can’t fix this. I can’t take away his pain. I fight with all I have in me and pull from everything, to find the strength to keep it all going.
I have a sick mother and a heart broken son,mother/father/brother in laws to name a few.
Truth is after the first few days everyone gives what they have and go back to their own lives. Leaving the people who are suffering alone to fight their battles.
So don’t judge others as you know not what struggles they have. Sometimes tequila at noon, sometimes a Xanax at 6am. Sometimes a night out, sometimes a night in. Sometimes with a friend, sometimes alone.

I have learned so much from all of this. I try to always draw from the positive as we all need something to hold on to. Live your life guilt free and be true to yourself and to others. Always say what you feel and mean what you say. I have the beauty inside of me that lived in my hero of a husband. That is where I draw from. A pure unconditional love most don’t find in a lifetime. My beautiful son who represents that love.
I continue to ask for the strength to heal his soul and give him the love of two.
I am grateful for whomever shows me kindness , love , support and most of all sincerity. I am grateful when I am able to feel my heart beating and there is joy somewhere in there. I cling to the knowledge of knowing something great is always around the corner. I now have an angel to guide me through.
I am here to tell you without a doubt that dying from a broken heart isn’t possible. Living with a broken heart is. I personally don’t think any amount of time will ever mend it. You just put it behind you and move forward however you see fit with whatever makes your heart pound. That’s how you know you are alive!!



Tuesday Rant…..Respect your elder’s???

Speaking of older people (and please forgive me if I offend anyone) yesterday I was at the checkout line at the supermarket. My son helped me load all my groceries onto the belt and we had to wait a few minutes as the girl at the register finished with the customer before me. Suddenly I feel my cart being pushed, ever so slightly but enough to knock into me. The elderly lady behind me in line was pushing my cart with her cart being so blatantly passive aggressive! She did it several times hitting me each time. I had to hold my tongue because my son was there otherwise she would have heard it from me. Here is the question… should I have said something? Do I give my son the example of patience and tolerance, or do I teach him it’s not OK for anyone to bully you, no matter WHO they are?

Monday evening RANT from a member…..MEN vs Women

Repost from a member.
Please post anonymously.
Just wondering if anyone else gets annoyed when your spouse doesn’t hold their weight. I work all day, prepare breakfast and pack a lunch for school. Pick then up from after school and then do dinner and homework. All I ask is for him to give them a bath and help clean up after dinner,and I get a song and don’t. Really? Anyone else dealing with this? How do I not flip out? How would you handle this? Appreciate any input. Thanks

Blogging advice

So as I read on some of your blogs I see I have much room for improvement.  I could use input and advice on how to include info (creating link using the word for instance). How to get people engaged?
My purpose is to pass on info I come across but mostly just to rant.  A place were parents can discuss, complain or even bitch about what’s going on. A non judgemental zone especially if you think outside the box!  People read  and sometimes like my blogs and fb rants but no one engages in the RANT.
Can anyone help a newbee?

Ttyl The “crazy” mamma….