Friends

I have had a heavy heart remembering a birthday of a dear friend that was taken away.  She would have been 45. She was the closest thing I had to a sister and although we had periods of time we didn’t speak the bond was never questioned.
To my knowledge after her divorce she started dating someone and it became abusive and she tried to break it off.  Unfortunately that didn’t happen.  [Please note as I tell this story it is second hand information but all I have as she can’t corfirm it.] This strong women who never took nonsense from anyone became a victim.  Most people think of a weak person as someone who would suffer abuse.  I guess a weakness would be a better analogy. A bad divorce and the loss of a loved one perhaps caused vulnerability who knows. Also being a parent and fearing for your children’s safety. 
After I saw a post on Facebook on her moms page a part of me died!  I was confused and didn’t understand.  I still don’t understand.  I have read news reports and spoken to others as she lived in another state so I have no first hand info.
Funny how authorities almost fault her for her death. She got orders of protection etc but never followed through and in most opinions because he was threatening her safety and her children. From what it says she was doing all she could but shocking as it is the system failed her!
I guess my point is even the strongest of people can be abused. It breaks my heart today and everyday.  I wish I knew what was happening so maybe I could have helped.  I know she stayed away because she knows I would have.  I hope she is at peace as living in fear is worse than death.  I also hope justice will be served.
Moral of the story is, never turn your back because you think someone is strong enough. One never knows what goes on behind closed doors. No one deserves to be terrorized or abused and certainly shouldn’t be blamed being on the receiving end. Until you walk in someone’s shoes never pass judgment.  Sometimes you will be amazed at what people go through and contend with.
As I sit with my heavy heart I remind you to value the people you hold near.  One thing I do know is she knew how much she meant to me.  She also knew I would have put myself in harms way to help or perhaps save her.   Never take relationships for granted.  Always tell people how you feel and cherish them. So many people aren’t worth the breath it takes BUT the few that are will be worth the effort.

Ttyl The “crazy” mamma….

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Friends

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How many of you have good friends? My grandmother once said if you can count on one hand your real friends you have lived a good life.  Thankfully I have more years to get there!
Funny how when you are younger your friends can make or break you.  Are you popular, pretty, smart and likable?  In my experience those things can work against you.  As a girl the more attractive you are the more the boys “like” you and the girls DONT. Add out spoken and honest and well thank god for men! Lol..
Unfortunately some women are not able to have stable female relationships or they are rare and far between.  Male and female relationships once the sex is removed can prove to be quite good. The hard thing with that is in men are rarely emotional so there is a big dynamic missing.
I personally have great male friends that have been there for me through thick and thin.  My female relationships not so much.  I have had many friends in my life but only a few that I hold dear.  Funny how life changes as so do your needs.  I have been fortunate that my “friends” have served their purposes during my path.  There are those friends you can call on a dime if you need them but those same friends can go out down the block from you and don’t call to invite you.  Then there are the friends you talk to after months of not talking and you pick up were you left off. Then there are the friends you call when you need sound advice you can count on.
Life gets very busy as people gain careers and families.  Sometimes just getting to the phone is an impossibility.
What I have realized is a solid family life alleviates the need for such friends.  When you have a family and they are your priority things become very clear.  I used to put others in front of myself.  Through many broken hearts I have learned now how to pick and choose. I do thank the people in my life good and bad that have taken me to this point. 
My best advice is to gain a best friend in your spouse and god willing you will always have them behind you!
Anyone want to share their friendship experiences?

Ttyl The “crazy” mamma….